Hello everyone, and welcome to my blog, Reforming Rob! Thank you for spending time with me today. In the last blog post, we discussed how a very simple eating plan could help in achieving health and wellness goals. Today's post is more of a celebration than an intellectual pursuit.
We Find Wilderness in Any Direction!
There may be one thing better for the soul than a warm February day out on the desert trails in Arizona, and that one thing is having your wife and children come along (or 60% of the kids anyway). Family trail time is sacred! We are so lucky to have national forests, state and regional parks, and wilderness areas we can escape to in almost any direction from our home.
In one of my previous posts I talked about my own mental and spiritual health being strengthened when I spend time in sacred places. I make sure to include that activity as a mandatory weekly event. Some weeks, for me, attendance at the Gilbert Arizona Temple is one connection to sacred places. I've made comments before, however, that visiting wilderness and natural environments with an attitude of awe and gratitude is also a visit to a sacred place. My experience has taught me that doing so with my family in tow is like putting the sacred experience under a magnification, but only when I frame the experience correctly. I'll explain what I mean.
Dragging My Family On A Hike
Unfortunately, most of my early adulthood "Dad" experience with kids out in the wilderness were stressful, full of complaints (from me and them), and was a task I viewed as just something I needed to do. There was no sacred or even good experience there to make a lasting impression on anyone. Family trail time was not something any of us looked forward to. I can divide my children up into two groups: One, the older 5, which had their wilderness experiences with inexperienced and unthoughtful Dad, and the 2nd group which have a their experiences with a more mature, thoughtful, less stressed out Dad. The older group has zero interest or excitement in spending time out on trails as a family. The younger group looks forward to our outings not dissimilarly from Christmas approaching. So, what's the big change from younger Dad to now older Dad that fosters such a different experience for the younger group of kids?
As every parent who has raised teenagers knows, there is a pulling away that happens with the approach of their teens. Let's set that aside for now, just for argument's sake. The truest difference maker between young and old Dad are foundationally two things. Gratitude. Attitude.
Becoming Old Dad
Young Dad looked at the hiking trip as a task to be done, hurried everyone along, expected his young children to have adult pace, was too worried about taking the exact trail and distance as planned, didn't take time for pictures, didn't try to share how he felt about the beauty around them, and did everything short of calling cadence like a drill instructor running that hike. No wonder the hands on the older kid group don't jump up in vote of a hike, huh?
Older Dad, me, with more life lessons under his belt than he cares to admit, some coming multiple times before penetrating his thick skull, has a much different attitude and perspective to the benefit of the younger kid group. His attitude is toward sharing his great love of the desert and mountains with his family, and to help them have a fun and memorable experience. That is the only goal, and it drives all the other decisions and actions for the trip. The speed expected is only as fast as our slowest child, now two and a half. The length is only as far as we're still having fun. The delightful stops along the way, like stopping for an hour to play in a stream, or for finding new rock climbing skills, become THE memorable moments from the trip that young Dad and older kids would have missed entirely. Oh yeah, and we have all the time in the world for pictures and video, because those shared experiences are just as fun watching together as they were in the moment.
So I'm going to call a do-over. I want my older kids to have some family trail time with old Dad. I'm going to put some experiences on the calendar, specific to the older kid group (really two are adults already...but I'll still call them kids). Maybe I can help them have a better adventure with a better Dad that may even lead to good, positive memories and a seed of love for the wild places. My new goal for 2024 just materialized!
Thank God I'm an Old Dad!
Until next time...
PEACE!
I’m so glad I’m still around to see this version of you. That hike has been my favorite family hike so far.
❤️, Anne